Being An Out Cast

Have u have a feeling like u have been outcast or u are invisible to one eyes?Haiz... I really dont know wat did I do wrong ....Or am i destined to be treated that way??????Everytime I approach u guys u guys just give me a cold look and just change the topic or just keep quite...Do i deserve it ??? I know things happen at the past But now its the present ...Why cant u just let it go and just forget about the bad stuff And make those who are good into memory???Why must u just keep on clinging into all those bad things???People change after time U cant just chop people for wat they did in their past!!!That is so unfair ...Haiz...Everytime i wanna know wat i did wrong,u either say u dont know or u just call me to figure it out myself...How do u espect me to change or know wat your problem is when u dont even tell me ?!?!?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................................................

Fever~Doomsday

The day started fine accept with a little headache And so the routine continues until i reached scholl and started to have flue ...At first it was nothing serious until I went into the hall and started sweating like hell And t hat was when i realised i had fever And the whole day at school was hell And because of my bad temper and my brian was hot i shouted at Christina Petti my form teacher And i felt little better after that i dont know why lol ... But after that i felt really sick and wanted to vomit... Luckly i didnt When it was PK pn. Khoo did some treatment to me LOL She put her hand on my head and call me to close my eyes At first i tought it was simply ridiculous but after awhile i started to feel really good i mean no more headache Butc Jia Xin saw me in that gesture and it was so so so embarassing Ahhhh lol Btw thx yea teacher It was hell until finally i reached home That was when i started to feel better My mum call me to cover my self in blanmket and sweater in my hot room without swtching on the fan But the funny thing is i didnt feel hot or sweat LoL My father maked me a hot hor yan hor and afetr that i had my meal and drank my mum air tebu lol The special one and i feel better Way better But i skiped class today ...haha All because a sickness i call laziness~

Stupid Friendship sinking

Here we go again,there is never a peacefull day where i can actually be with them happily just talking and laughing.I fell like i was never actually suppose to be there like an outcast like so unwanted till they dont even wanna look at you...So desserted...So tired....So painfull...Yup maybe horyan is right ...I sure have plenty of things to change and maybe the real reason i really like Jia xin is simply because i need someone to fell that empty space where Hor yan have been standing ... But i guess Jia xin have already heard the rumor from God know who...And now ...Again another one just fell discusted when she sees me No more old fashion hi and smile Just ond col flash of invisibility when she passes thru...I really dont know why must i be treated that way...Am i wrong liking a person ...Leong zhe hao ....Please just leave us alone Please Me and her...I knwo that it is impossible but can u at least let us be frens???????????????I know u had sumthing with her but please....Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Maybe this is the true destiny for me ...Being thrown at the sea with nothing but sharks to eat u when your dead....Well the truth is actually everytime im alone somewhere I always tought the way i could change the way i do not cos i know everyone is sick of my attitiude including my mum lol But everytime i be with u guys ....It all changes And u guys just think that i am the way i am and who i am and i will never change Please try putting yourself in my shoes and try to experience ....All this while after i broke up with Hor yan ...Things change alot for me All this while...Trying to change bcos of a promise i made with her ...But...it feel like even the world is against u And...The ship of frens is finally sinking Trying to save it but bcos of my fucking atttidue i failed again and again Teh wei yuan ...I dont know wat issue i have with u but i dont know why u are seriously a fucking pain the the ass dude ... I really dont wanna fell that way ... I dont care wat u heard about me talking bad or doing things about u which is truelly smashing I just wanna tell u to trust wat u see and not wat u hear!!!I dont know wat u did to all those people to make then adore u like shit but please ... Let me tell u sumthing .... Dont climb over people's head And all those insulting and those crazy shouts of yours Do you know how discusting that really is???? Try thinking of it It is really sickening And i am not trying to blame u for pulling me to XXX But ...urgh...U put me in that place and not u are with XY talking God knows wat...U can do all those suckers job to people but if even a small thing over your plastic bottle u get mad and show your temper like a crazy baboon Gosh~Damn u la seriously...Shernese is it really neccesarry to post my letters to the public Gosh wat has gotten into u ??? oh watever Just wishing that today will be a perfectly fine day all things goes well either with frens or enemies... Fingers cross May the God bless me enough to save my sinking ship of friendship